The answer was in my pocket
One observation. Last night I couldn't sleep because the company I consult for was sold. My mind went straight to math. How much in the bank, how much
The job I talked myself out of
I torpedoed two job interviews and spent years calling it self-sabotage. Turns out my gut was refusing things that weren't mine before I could.
Gut feeling
One observation. I talked myself out of two jobs I was about to get. Both times I thought something in me was broken. Looking back, my gut saw what the
The prediction engine
A guy told me last week he knew exactly what business to start. Had the idea, had clients ready, had the whole thing planned. Couldn't move. Not for
Before I Could Predict
I played my best rugby before I knew enough to overthink it. Then I learned the game and the predictions killed the thing that made me good.
Why do I keep ending up in the same situation
Confidence borrowed from roles works until it’s tested. What’s left after that test is usually thinner than expected.
The Bus Drives Every Day
The bus takes you somewhere your old identity doesn't work. The hardest part isn't the new city. It's belonging nowhere while you rebuild.
The room got lighter
One observation A friend died last week. At the match dedicated to him, his teammates weren't grieving. They were relieved. The man who lived without filters was gone,
Why am I successful, but something feels off
Everything looks right from the outside. Career works, relationships are stable, the daily answer to 'how are you' sounds great. But there's a gap between the version everyone sees and the version that exists in the ten minutes before you press delete
The Room After the Match
A room full of teammates who'd known him for over a decade. He died four days earlier. Nobody was sad.
Relief is a terrible negotiator
One observation When they offered me almost three times what I'd been making, I said "I'm fine with that" while trying not to smile.
Why do I avoid difficult conversations
We went for a walk and he listed everything bothering him. Porn, doom scrolling, sleep avoidance, sending difficult patients to his boss. They looked like separate problems. They were all the same move: leaving the room before someone could be disappointed in him.