Notes

The Guy With the Gap I used to walk into the pre-match meeting and high-five everyone in the room. Take the piss out of someone,

May 7, 2026

Forty jumps A couple of weeks ago, I took my son to a park with a small stage, maybe a meter high.

Apr 30, 2026

10 am on a Tuesday I took my son to an appointment this morning and had an hour to kill. We're planning to

Apr 23, 2026

The reminder I spent years trying to silence My alarm went off yesterday morning, and I hated it the way I always do. Not the sound, but the

Apr 16, 2026

What the sky looked like Eighteen years chasing a championship. We won. I raised my arms, looked at the sky, drove home, and went to bed. The feeling was relief, not joy.

Apr 9, 2026

The finish line that turned out to be a checkpoint One observation. We won the championship after eighteen years. I raised my arms, looked at the sky, drove home, and

Apr 9, 2026

The rejection that costs nothing One observation. Every expensive thing I've ever dismissed was something I couldn't afford. I've

Apr 3, 2026

Before you can afford to say no A Lamborghini drove past me last week. Bright green, loud, impossible to ignore. My first thought was immediate: I would

Apr 3, 2026

The boy between the buildings I walked past the apartment blocks where I used to wander as a kid, looking for a girl to love me. I recognized the feeling. I'm still doing it.

Mar 26, 2026

The number that would make me safe The company was sold. I couldn't sleep. Started calculating what I'd need to feel safe. Around 2am I realized the math was hiding something.

Mar 19, 2026

The job I talked myself out of I torpedoed two job interviews and spent years calling it self-sabotage. Turns out my gut was refusing things that weren't mine before I could.

Mar 12, 2026

Before I Could Predict I played my best rugby before I knew enough to overthink it. Then I learned the game and the predictions killed the thing that made me good.

Mar 5, 2026

The Bus Drives Every Day The bus takes you somewhere your old identity doesn't work. The hardest part isn't the new city. It's belonging nowhere while you rebuild.

Feb 26, 2026

The Room After the Match A room full of teammates who'd known him for over a decade. He died four days earlier. Nobody was sad.

Feb 19, 2026

Built to Stay I restored three old chairs by hand. A year later IKEA released the same design at twice the price. One will outlive us. The other won't survive five.

Feb 12, 2026

Less Noise I didn't want my kid growing up seeing me stare at a rectangle more often than I looked at him. What surprised me wasn't peace or productivity. It was how quickly the world regained texture.

Feb 5, 2026

"I'm Fine With That" I said 'I'm fine with that' like I was doing them a favour by accepting. I was trying not to smile.

Jan 29, 2026

None of Them Were Listed Every meaningful job I've had came from someone who'd seen me work and mentioned my name when I wasn't in the room.

Jan 22, 2026

Two Years Too Late In the exit interview I told them: two years too late. They should have fired me sooner. I should have left sooner. Neither of us said what we knew.

Jan 15, 2026

Thirty Minutes She gave me thirty minutes of everything that was wrong with me. I took all of it. She wasn't attacking me. She was falling apart near me.

Jan 8, 2026

"I'm Good" A friend used "I'm good" the way people say it to strangers. Smooth, final, polished by repetition. It kept him protected, but also unreachable.

Jan 1, 2026

She Moved On Untouched Everything that had escalated inside me had existed only there. She moved on untouched. I carried the weight.

Dec 25, 2025

The Sloth on the Books I drew my father as a sloth on a stack of books. He laughed and hung it up. Only later did I realize the drawing was about me too.

Dec 18, 2025

The Notebooks I Didn't Fill The practice stopped being something I did and turned into something I tracked. Once that happened, the notebook was already finished.

Dec 11, 2025

Every Red Light For years I checked my phone at every red light. No reason. The reach wasn't about the screen. It was about the half-second of stillness before it.

Dec 4, 2025

Stop Reading About the Sink I could talk about business strategy using other people's frameworks. I sounded informed. I had no skin in anything.

Nov 27, 2025

The Answer I Didn't Want During a psilocybin trip I kept repeating one sentence. It sounded like something you'd find on a candle. I spent years resisting it.

Nov 20, 2025

The Only Passenger First Christmas after my divorce. Empty bus, only passenger, forty minutes through a quiet city. I wasn't heartbroken. That confused me.

Nov 13, 2025

Effort Is the Price Three injuries during the tournament. After each one I thought I was in. The coach still didn't pick me. I came back the next year anyway.

Nov 6, 2025

Four Climbs. One Mountain. Same trail, same weather, same day. Four people, four completely different experiences. Neither was lying. Both were telling the truth as they lived it.

Oct 30, 2025

The Forest Was Not the Problem A friend called from Norway blaming the terrain for his pain. The forest was fine. Twenty kilos too heavy and years without training was the problem.

Oct 23, 2025

Easy to Approve Of. Difficult to Inhabit. At nineteen I got out of a car without thinking. At thirty I'd talk myself out of the same instinct for weeks. The signal didn't change. I did.

Oct 16, 2025

The Currency You Can't Earn Back One year I played Football Manager for fifteen hundred hours. Two full months handed to a world that couldn't judge me or ask where my life was heading.

Oct 9, 2025

Money Won't Save You From an Empty Life A friend in Dubai had a drawer full of watches he didn't care about. He wore them for the room. Money didn't fill the gap. It furnished it.

Oct 2, 2025

The Finish Line That Doesn’t End Anything I thought freedom was money. A millionaire with no answer to his own question changed that.

Sep 25, 2025

The Rehearsed Answer I gave the same answer about my business twice, word for word, to different people. That's when I realized the answer was rehearsed.

Sep 13, 2025