The number that would make me safe
The company was sold. I couldn't sleep. Started calculating what I'd need to feel safe. Around 2am I realized the math was hiding something.
work
The job I talked myself out of
I torpedoed two job interviews and spent years calling it self-sabotage. Turns out my gut was refusing things that weren't mine before I could.
Built to Stay
I restored three old chairs by hand. A year later IKEA released the same design at twice the price. One will outlive us. The other won't survive five.
None of Them Were Listed
Every meaningful job I've had came from someone who'd seen me work and mentioned my name when I wasn't in the room.
Two Years Too Late
In the exit interview I told them: two years too late. They should have fired me sooner. I should have left sooner. Neither of us said what we knew.
The Notebooks I Didn't Fill
The practice stopped being something I did and turned into something I tracked. Once that happened, the notebook was already finished.
Stop Reading About the Sink
I could talk about business strategy using other people's frameworks. I sounded informed. I had no skin in anything.
Effort Is the Price
Three injuries during the tournament. After each one I thought I was in. The coach still didn't pick me. I came back the next year anyway.
Money Won't Save You From an Empty Life
A friend in Dubai had a drawer full of watches he didn't care about. He wore them for the room. Money didn't fill the gap. It furnished it.