Notes

Short observations about the things people avoid naming.

Why do I stress about decisions that turned out fine A friend of mine bought a house last year. Good price, good location, the kind of decision most people would
pattern Mar 23, 2026
The number that would make me safe Last night I got an email telling me the company I consult for was sold. New board taking over. I
work Mar 19, 2026
The job I talked myself out of My first real job interview was at a telecom. Back then that meant stability, a salary you could plan around,
session Mar 12, 2026
Gut feeling One observation. I talked myself out of two jobs I was about to get. Both times I thought something in
Mar 12, 2026
Before I Could Predict I was fourteen the first time I noticed it. I'd built an entire relationship with a girl in
identity Mar 5, 2026
Why do I keep ending up in the same situation Confidence borrowed from roles works until it’s tested. What’s left after that test is usually thinner than expected.
pattern Mar 2, 2026
The Bus Drives Every Day Someone asked Morgan Freeman how he made it out of poverty. His answer was simple. The bus drives every day.
time Feb 26, 2026
Why am I successful, but something feels off Everything looks right from the outside. Career works, relationships are stable, the daily answer to 'how are you' sounds great. But there's a gap between the version everyone sees and the version that exists in the ten minutes before you press delete
pattern Feb 23, 2026
The Room After the Match A room full of teammates who'd known him for over a decade. He died four days earlier. Nobody was sad.
identity Feb 19, 2026
Why do I avoid difficult conversations We went for a walk and he listed everything bothering him. Porn, doom scrolling, sleep avoidance, sending difficult patients to his boss. They looked like separate problems. They were all the same move: leaving the room before someone could be disappointed in him.
pattern Feb 16, 2026
Built to Stay A year later IKEA released a chair with almost the same design. Half the weight, hollow frame, and somehow more expensive than restoring all three of ours combined.
work Feb 12, 2026
Less Noise I didn't want my kid growing up seeing me stare at a rectangle more often than I looked at him. What surprised me wasn't peace or productivity. It was how quickly the world regained texture.
time Feb 9, 2026
Why do I procrastinate when I know what to do His mum told him to clean his boots. He said "I will." He never did. Thirty years later, same pattern. It's not discipline. It's something else entirely.
pattern Feb 9, 2026
"I'm Fine With That" I said 'I'm fine with that' like I was doing them a favour by accepting. I was trying not to smile.
identity Feb 9, 2026
None of Them Were Listed After I got fired I went to the unemployment office. No savings, no plan. Then on a Sunday afternoon I
work Feb 9, 2026
Two Years Too Late They should have fired me two years earlier. I should have left two years earlier.
work Feb 9, 2026
Thirty Minutes She threw thirty minutes of haymakers at me after four sleepless nights. I took all of it. Not because I agreed. Because I could see what was actually happening.
relationships Feb 9, 2026
Why can't I make decisions He has the savings, the skills, the supportive wife, the plan. He can't make the decision. Not because he's indecisive but because making it would change who he is.
pattern Feb 2, 2026
"I'm Good" He could explain people to themselves with uncomfortable accuracy. But when it came to his own scars, that clarity vanished.
relationships Nov 20, 2025
She Moved On Untouched Everything that had escalated inside me had existed only there. She moved on untouched. I carried the weight.
identity Nov 17, 2025
The Sloth on the Books Only later did I realize the drawing wasn't just about him. I had absorbed more than his curiosity and gentleness. I had absorbed his way of disappearing.
relationships Nov 16, 2025
The Notebooks I Didn't Fill The practice stopped being something I did and turned into something I tracked. Once that happened, the notebook was already finished.
work Nov 12, 2025
Every Red Light My hand moved before I had a thought. Unlock, glance, lock. It was never about the screen. It was about what I didn't want to feel in the second before I touched it.
time Nov 7, 2025
Stop Reading About the Sink You can talk about hiring after reading ten articles. Or after sitting through fifty interviews and getting it wrong. The difference shows fast.
work Nov 7, 2025
The Answer I Didn't Want The truest thing I ever said came out during a psilocybin trip. I spent years avoiding it because it sounded too simple.
relationships Nov 6, 2025
The Only Passenger Empty bus, Christmas evening, the only passenger. I wasn't heartbroken. That confused me at the time.
relationships Oct 23, 2025
Effort Is the Price Three injuries in one tournament and he still didn't pick me. The next year I played on a knee full of fluid.
work Oct 15, 2025
Four Climbs. One Mountain. Four people, same trail, same weather. Four completely different climbs. That's how truth works everywhere.
identity Oct 6, 2025
The Forest Was Not the Problem He blamed the terrain, the cold, the long walks. The forest was flawless. What hurt was the body he'd stopped maintaining.
identity Sep 27, 2025
Easy to Approve Of. Difficult to Inhabit. At nineteen I got out of a car without thinking twice. At thirty I'd talk myself out of the same instinct for weeks.
identity Sep 26, 2025
The Currency You Can't Earn Back Fifteen hundred hours on Football Manager. Ten years in a marriage that built nothing. Both felt fine while they were happening.
time Sep 24, 2025
Money Won't Save You From an Empty Life A drawer full of watches he didn't love. A yacht that didn't answer anything. Money funds whatever pattern already exists.
work Sep 24, 2025
The Finish Line That Doesn’t End Anything I thought freedom was money. A millionaire with no answer to his own question changed that.
identity Sep 24, 2025
The Rehearsed Answer When asked how the business was going, I talked about the progress and the direction. Mentioned a couple of wins,
identity Sep 13, 2025